August 18, 2009

The onset of reality

Tonight Jeff and I had parent orientation for CX. He is starting kindergarten in a few days and we finally got to meet his teacher and go over ALL of the forms and things that need to be done before the first day of school. I actually handled myself pretty well, but I know it is coming; the crying.

I know, I know, it's not like I'm moving away and never going to see him again or anything like that. But this is a big change in my life. For the past 6 years of my life I have had him by my side everyday. I know that it is just part of life, but I don't want my baby to grow up so fast. I'm crying right now if you don't know. I can't help it. I can't let him see me like this, I have to put on a strong face for him. I'm mom, I'm supposed to be able to handle anything, right?

After Jeff and I got back from the orientation and we were all back home, CX finally admitted to me that he is scared to start school. I know that, I am scared for you too, but I sure didn't tell him that. I didn't have the best of times at school, although I did enjoy the actual learning part, the friendship part I totally flunked out on. I want him to be so much more confident than I ever was. I don't want him to get walked all over, I want him to stand up for himself when it is needed, but I don't want him to be a bully either. How do you instill the confidence into your child without them becoming conceited?

CX cried and told me how he was scared of riding the bus, that he didn't know his teacher or anyone in his class. I tried to explain to him that everyone else is going thru pretty much the exact same thing as him, but it didn't make him feel any better. Hopefully after we attend the "Meet the Teacher" event, he will feel better about it all. I sure hope so, I don't know if I can handle him crying on the first day of school.

I need to find my box of tissues. I'll catch you up later.

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